Saturday, May 24, 2008
Through 19years and 6 months of my life, I've reached one of my many-but-yet-to-be-concluded-theories on human nature.
My first conclusion is that
"Human beings are transient"
My second,
"Human beings are selfish creatures to begin with. Between transitions, human beings are infinitely more selfish"
Its ironic how my own beliefs can bring me inner peace, and at the same time, destroy the very same being; me.
I take comfort in the fact that No.1 tells me that I have the capacity to adapt to changes and move on from unpleasant situations. It gives me hope, and it reinforces Friedrich Nietzsche's famous line, (which I religiously believe)
"That which does not kill us makes us stronger"
On the flip side, No.1 also tells me that other people have that very same capacity to move on. And this scares me, for I don't want to be a transient figure in someone else's life, especially if that someone else meant more to me than the rest of the world. (hmph! talk about preferential treatment)
No. 2... well, what can I say, it speaks for itself doesn't it? More often than not, I feel 'used' by others to help them get through their transitions. I'm not complaining. I mean, it is afterall what friends are for, isn't it? But at times, there's a limit to how much of someone else's selfishness I can tolerate.
To add fuel to the already blazing fire, when I just need 1 person to be there for me through my transition, it seems that there's never anyone around.
Some people have told me that its because I'm looking in all the wrong places for someone to help me through the dark times, but I don't think that's the case. I really have tried...
Sometimes I feel like I've tried so hard, I've given up trying. Because, there isn't a point in trying anymore, anyway. (Especially when your point's been proven time and time again.)
Occassionally, I try to find some reason to disprove my conclusions, to no avail.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for sympathy here. I can cope very well on my own thankyouverymuch.
Recall: "That which does not kill us makes us stronger"
I think from all of these, I'm coming close to my third conclusion on human nature....
and its not a pleasant one.