great balls of fire

Thank You & Good Night

2009-03-07T22:16:00.002+11:00

The End.

Exit Stage Right

Where were you - Maria Mena

2008-09-23T20:04:00.002+10:00

I got used to the treadmill love
Where no matter how fast you run
You're stuck at the starting point
Only exhausted
I was the anonymous author
Of songs I'd not dared to share
Lacking the audience of a lover's ear

-

All we do is play the guessing game.
It'd be nice if one day we could just say what we wanted to say all along.

curtains finally closing

2008-09-20T16:36:00.003+10:00

I am right back where I started.

Just with a different person.

I am so scared of making the same mistakes.

But I know I will make it all over again.

2008-08-26T16:38:00.000+10:00

I was right all along.

I'm gone.

Shut down

2008-08-15T22:38:00.002+10:00

Its not fair.

She's only there for you in your good times.

And here I am, for you in your good times and bad, but you're never here when I need you.

And whenever you're here, you're always preoccupied with her anyway.

I don't know which hurts more.

To be crying and letting it all out.

Or to have ran out of tears to cry....

Everyone said so...

2008-08-09T17:35:00.002+10:00

If everyone says so, its gotta be true, no?

-

I'm trying my best to be happy, for you. Perhaps for myself as well...

But its sad to know that your future plans doesn't include me... Instead, it includes someone else.

She tells me not to give up hope. That's what my mother said... "There's still hope".

But the rest, they all say, unless I'm willing to be second best or willing to just be in "lust" instead of being in "love", I should not pursue this feeling.

And they also said....
They said so many things I don't know who or what to believe anymore.

But if everyone says the same thing, then its gotta be true, no?

2008-08-02T11:18:00.002+10:00

When it hurts too much to pretend
And the words burn inside your head
You can't say what you really mean
It's not that easy

When the tears are slowly melting down
And your heart's stuck on a merry-go-round
Praying you could find a sign for when
This game will end

two and a half men

2008-07-20T19:57:00.003+10:00

And the cycle starts all over again.

Just with slightly different people.

Let's just say its so near, yet so far.

I don't want to think too much.

I just wanna have fun.

:)

two and a half men

2008-07-20T19:57:00.000+10:00

use me then lose me

2008-07-19T00:17:00.003+10:00

This is my final weekend of freedom, yet no one wants to go have fun with me.

I'm utterly disappointed.

And now I'm feeling alll emo and shit coz I came to yet another sad sad realisation.

I don't wanna talk about it.

Let's just say that I've got violent tendencies towards a particular person and that I have to play it cool (on all levels)

meeee

2008-07-14T19:02:00.001+10:00

I feel so happy today seeing most of my friends again at uni and out of uni.

I feel loved too :)

Viva La Vida

2008-07-11T15:03:00.002+10:00

I don't care what anyone says about Rafa, all I want to do is fly to Spain to look for him and get him to marry me.

The one and only reason why he should marry me: He likes to play tennis. I like to watch him play tennis.

Perfect.

Just.

Perfect.

:)

With a pinch of salt

2008-07-08T17:11:00.001+10:00

If I had to take every word that everyone tells me, with a pinch of salt, I'd have died from hypertension at the age of 3.

Hope vs expectation.

2008-07-04T17:20:00.004+10:00

Funny how everyone says to let it go.
But I turn away from wise advise.

Then the tarot reader says not to give up hope, just hang in there.
And I feel like I lack the strength to perservere.

I haven't spoken much today.
Firstly there's no one to talk to.
Secondly, no one will listen anyway.
Thirdly... Well, there's no point telling you when you're not listening either, is there?

I can't guarantee that I'll still be there for you when you need me.
I've told you twice, thrice, four times...
But still, you chose not to listen.

ARGH!

2008-07-02T19:20:00.003+10:00

I. have. nothing. more. to. say.

A little fucking respect for me ~~please.~~

Because. I. FUCKING. TOLD. YOU. SO!

-

I'm too unbothered to explain the situation because it is a long story.

-

I've been awake for 20hours now and I'm feeling so unmotivated to go to bed.
Was watching Wimbledon Men's Quarterfinals just now.
Was quite a letdown.
Thought the Murray v Nadal match would've been more interesting.
Murray didn't play as well as he did in Round 4.
But I'm still glad Nadal won.
He's such a hearthrob.
I don't care what you say about him, he's the only guy I want to date.

Yup! No doubts about that, he's the only guy I'd consider dating.

Tell me when will you be mine.

2008-06-30T11:54:00.002+10:00

I have to stop with the sarcasm.

Otherwise, I'm gonna be pushing you further away from where you already are.

Not that you would really care about whether or not I'm pushing you away.

But I'd like to think that you do.

2008-06-27T23:44:00.003+10:00

I used deflect my disappointment in others with humor and a smile.

Then I figured I'd be no different from the hypocrite who's played me like a puppet.

Now, I deflect it with sarcasm.

What do I deflect my disappointment in myself with?

I'm two-thirds my way through a bottle of wine. And I don't even feel anything anymore.

I want to feel something, apart from this emptiness. Then again, how does one feel empty when there was nothing there to begin with. It's not like I had something there before which I had recently lost. There was never anything there anyway.

And when I finally feel something, often negative, my rights of feeling that way gets stripped right off me.

"History" = PAST. So why is it deja vu all over again?

I feel like I'm in a never ending nightmare that I could never wake up from. And its a re-run every single night.

This is my advice to you. Don't push me, because I'm on the egde.

I really don't want to be the one who stands at the door with open arms and say, "I told you so".

Because I told you so.

because everybody's breakin up

2008-06-25T16:41:00.001+10:00

Whitney is a little upset for a lot of reasons.

And everybody still has issues they need to deal with.

Myself included. I've just got lesser issues than everyone else.

No you can't be my girlfriend

2008-06-21T11:58:00.002+10:00

Yes, no, maybe, I don't know...? Can you repeat the question?

No, you can't be my girlfriend.

-

What can I say... I am single and available, just not emotionally available.

You're a nice girl, but I don't do drama.

smokes

2008-06-19T16:38:00.002+10:00

I had my first cigarette in 7 years, yesterday.

"Like a cigarette between my lips, I am hanging over the edge. And my spirit spirals up in smoke." -Whitney-

things don't change. we do.

2008-06-17T18:27:00.002+10:00

There were 3 phases. Past, Before, and Now, which equates to the Past.

Technically, nothing's changed. We did.

Done

2008-06-16T23:46:00.004+10:00

I'm done with my exams. Whether or not I pass, that's another story altogether. One that I shall not bother to pre-empt.

Everyone else is at the third year dinner now, but I chose to stay home with my crew... no one special... just the usual Hoes, Blondes, (the odd corona or 2), Jack, Mr Walker, The Absolut etc. I've still got the Brown brothers chilling out in the fridge, and a cleanskin beside it. Should've bought a coupla Smirnoff but oh well... perhaps another time.

I've had 2 Hoes already and just waiting on my friends, see if they decide to come or not, for a game of poker/taboo. Then I'ma have to head off to bed and then wake up early tomorrow, travel to Camberwell to meet a representative from the breast cancer association where I'll be spending my time volunteering at this winter.

I can't believe its the holidays already! I feel like I should be doing something productive. But... I don't know what I should be doing.

Been on MSN since dinner, webcammed with Kim, chatted with Janii, Wai, Chris, Dom, Niklas. Now I'm watching Dave Letterman.

I feel loved :)

The warmth of alcohol, and the heater, and my jumper... makes me feel loved :)

It's been a long time coming.

It just dawned on me that after tonight, considering most people are leaving soon anyway, that we'd all be going our separate ways. Different research institutes,different countries, different clinical schools, different timetabling, different group of peers, different everything.

Suddenly, I feel so empty. Like there's a void in my heart that I cannot ever fill. Because it is difficult sometimes, to pick up where you left off with someone. Even if they're just friends.

whatever will be will be

2008-06-07T21:12:00.004+10:00

Edited:
In a hurry
But there's so much time
I will wait for you
Growing love but like water
Time will always slip through
I will wait for you
But please come soon
-
Que Sera Sera,

Whatever will be, will be.

The future's not ours to see.

Que Sera Sera.

-

Because. Just. Because...

believe

2008-06-05T23:45:00.002+10:00

I wish I could give you a few tight slaps across your face and shake you so hard you don't even know what hit you... Because you're still so blinded by it all.

The bystander always has the most objective point of view. ALWAYS.

Sometimes you're so convinced by what you think will happen, that you confuse it with reality. And one day, when you've finally sobered up from all that emo-shit, and you realise what's REALLY going on, it's all too late because you've fallen too deep to be saved... Sometimes, it's all too late because you're six feet under.

-

I've been having pretty weird dreams lately. One of which, I'd like to believe will come true one day, some day. It was a nice dream. It made me feel warm and fuzzy in cold, lonely times like SWOT VAC.

Some say dreams are a reflection of events in reality that's yet to occur. Others say its the opposite of reality. There's a third group that says that dreams are the expression of our suppressed thoughts during the day. Unfortunately, I'm inclined to think that the latter 2 are true.

-

Have no expectations of others.

cut

2008-05-30T11:54:00.002+10:00

I've been so tired but yet too afraid to sleep in fear that everything I've memorised so far from the oncology block diffuses out.

-

It's oh so foolish!

road awareness

2008-05-28T22:17:00.002+10:00

If you see somebody crossing the road diagonally, that's probably me.

lemon barley

2008-05-27T22:32:00.002+10:00

I feel like having a can of Yeo's Lemon Barley right now.

Well, it's prolly more sugar and sweetener and artificial flavouring than al naturale lemon and barley. But I don't care, I got a craving for it now!!!!

Heh, just thought everyone who chances upon this blog should know about my craving.

Human nature

2008-05-24T18:00:00.001+10:00

Through 19years and 6 months of my life, I've reached one of my many-but-yet-to-be-concluded-theories on human nature.

My first conclusion is that
"Human beings are transient"

My second,
"Human beings are selfish creatures to begin with. Between transitions, human beings are infinitely more selfish"

Its ironic how my own beliefs can bring me inner peace, and at the same time, destroy the very same being; me.

I take comfort in the fact that No.1 tells me that I have the capacity to adapt to changes and move on from unpleasant situations. It gives me hope, and it reinforces Friedrich Nietzsche's famous line, (which I religiously believe)
"That which does not kill us makes us stronger"

On the flip side, No.1 also tells me that other people have that very same capacity to move on. And this scares me, for I don't want to be a transient figure in someone else's life, especially if that someone else meant more to me than the rest of the world. (hmph! talk about preferential treatment)

No. 2... well, what can I say, it speaks for itself doesn't it? More often than not, I feel 'used' by others to help them get through their transitions. I'm not complaining. I mean, it is afterall what friends are for, isn't it? But at times, there's a limit to how much of someone else's selfishness I can tolerate.

To add fuel to the already blazing fire, when I just need 1 person to be there for me through my transition, it seems that there's never anyone around.

Some people have told me that its because I'm looking in all the wrong places for someone to help me through the dark times, but I don't think that's the case. I really have tried...

Sometimes I feel like I've tried so hard, I've given up trying. Because, there isn't a point in trying anymore, anyway. (Especially when your point's been proven time and time again.)

Occassionally, I try to find some reason to disprove my conclusions, to no avail.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for sympathy here. I can cope very well on my own thankyouverymuch.

Recall: "That which does not kill us makes us stronger"

I think from all of these, I'm coming close to my third conclusion on human nature....

and its not a pleasant one.

u got it bad

2008-05-18T23:04:00.005+10:00

I say I am ready, but I'm not really sure.

I watch as it unfolds right before my eyes, in my face. I don't know how much more I can handle. Its overwhelming. I look to my left, and its in my face, I look to my right, and there it is again. I close my eyes, and I see it right before me, its as if I'm watching it in the darkness of a cinema.

I watch, and I quiver with fear. Perhaps its just the pathological people pleaser in me that's talking, but I can't bear to see anyone get hurt in this "game". I have absolutely no idea what else to call this... this thing. It's akin to a tennis match... And someone's the ball, bouncing back and forth between each other's half of the court.

I ain't the ball. I'm merely a ~~spectator~~ ball picker on the side. I pick up the ball, then throw it back to the players in the game. I'm not sure how long this is gonna last, but with time, as with all other tangible objects/matter, it will wear and tear.

Unfortunately no one sees and foresees what I see as it unfolds. I guess the chinese saying is true. In translation: In any situation, the bystander has the most objective point of view.

It's all fun and games now, but when someone get defeated, who's gonna pick up the pieces?

hypnotised

2008-05-17T11:13:00.003+10:00

I think about the exclusive exclusion criteria, and I wonder if I'm included in that exclusion criteria.

What an oxymoron.... just like, it's the same difference.

To take a risk...

2008-05-13T17:59:00.002+10:00

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach for another is to risk involvement.
To expose your feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To place your ideas, your dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To believe is to risk despair.
To try is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken,because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing, has nothing, is nothing.
They may avoid suffering and sorrow, but they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, live.
Chained by their attitudes they are slaves; they have forfeited their freedom.
Only a person who risks is free.

-Hugo Prather-

Ah... yes... Or maybe not... To take a risk is to put oneself in uncertainty.
Despite its transience, I still don't like uncertainty.
I like to know where I am,
Who I am,
What I am going to be.
-
Need. motivation. to. study.
-

notes...

2008-05-11T20:07:00.002+10:00

I just want to sleep for eternity.

When I feel small, I build a bigger, taller wall around myself.
When I am insecure, I deliberately overdo things which push the one I love away.
When I am lost, I silently hope for someone to take my hand and show me the way.
When I am needy, I hope that my thoughts can be broadcasted to all, so I wouldn't have to ask for help.
When I lose faith, I question.

-

Good night and good bye. Til I see you again someday... maybe one day.

sacrifices.

2008-05-06T17:23:00.012+10:00

Edit 10/05: I had an awesome friday night, despite having a test on monday morning. I've only got 5 hours sleep, I'm sleepy, but I've never felt this alive. I've also gotten a new piercing on my ear (cartilage) and am dying to get a new tattoo on the slope of my left breast, any thoughts on designs? I want it to be something meaningful to me, and no more chinese characters.

I should get back to studying.
"Like a cigarette between my lips, I am hanging over the edge. And my spirit spirals up in smoke" -Whitney

Sometimes I marvel at what I'm capable of writing... all for the wrong reasons.

Sacrifices... are they worth it?

I tell myself it'll all work out well in the end... but I don't have faith in myself not to stop believing in it.

I find it very difficult to have faith in anyone or anything... I'm losing faith in myself...

Sacrifice and compromise are nothing but a pack of lies.

I'm still waiting...

2008-05-03T16:51:00.003+10:00

In the waiting line...

To hold something that you can never have is to hold nothing at all.
-
There's one person who makes me feel like a kid again.
And I feel safe.
Yet, I feel all grown up at the same time.
Then, I feel threatened by a third presence.

What do you do when 3's a crowd...

1, 2, 3, 4.

2008-05-02T16:33:00.003+10:00

I had nine lives but I lost all of them

I think I might've lost my new found abs at tutorial today.
I ate chips, tim tam balls (sounds wrong yeah?), gummi snakes, and doritos!

And I spoke minimally, for valid reasons though... I have a sore throat, its so sore, my ears and eyes and head hurt too!

I'm so tired!!! I just need to reboot myself. I need time to stop for like a day and lemme get sufficient ~~rest~~ studying done to catch up. Then put on the rest of the work load.

Weekends are here.... which means my test is in a week and my exams in 5. Now tell me.... how to study 10 weeks work in 5 weeks PLUS the ongoing lectures????

I'm keeping an eye on the weather. I want it to be good weather tmr so I can go out and be a happy lil lark!!!!

STRESS AHHHHHH!!!!!

I can't wait for hols. I'm gonna try all my recipes.... and hols = ALCO ALCO ALCO!!!!

Speaking of which, I found some white wine yesterday and initially I took a sip off the bottle just to see if it was still drinkable, and lo' n behold! IT WAS! So I drank whatever's left in it, and went to bed at 10.30! But I still woke up early and am still tired!

Btw folks, I've got sexy voice now...

When 3's a crowd.

2008-04-30T14:51:00.011+10:00

‘my being is gone but still I’m not dead’

Edit (01/05): I swear I've developed Abs overnight from all the coughing in bed!

There're certain things I really want to find out, yet, at the same time, I don't want to know either. Because after I know of it, my imagination takes over, goes absolutely crazy, and I then become a slave to my imagination. And rarely am I able to block it out.

Things just got a lot more complicated... but I shall attempt to summarise...

They said in unison: "... because the person he likes is gay".

Get the picture?

Anyway, comment box is below. Scroll down... the scroll bar is invisible (btw)

-

Have you ever seen a sound
Have you listened to an image
Have you ever touched a thought
Have you ever tasted nothing
Have you ever told a lie
that was true more than truth
because truth it had lied
all its life when it spoke to you?
And what did it say
it is that it is this
this goes here here is there
it is not yes it is
it was dulling your senses
your eyes they were bound
Have you ever my friends
been looking around?

I once saw a man on fire

2008-04-27T13:00:00.006+10:00

And when you find the morning save a piece for me

Do you ever look around,
turn your ear to the ground,
show your face to the sky,
on a night when the skies echoe sounds,
from inside of your mind,
on the stage that you shone,
where the sun did become you,
and move with your thoughts,
through the sights and the scenes,
of the worlds you have seen,
and the sights that have been,
your reflection in shadows and dreams?

-

Edited 30/04

‘my being is gone but still I’m not dead’

Have you ever seen a sound
Have you listened to an image
Have you ever touched a thought
Have you ever tasted nothing
Have you ever told a lie
that was true more than truth
because truth it had lied
all its life when it spoke to you?
And what did it say
it is that it is this
this goes here here is there
it is not yes it is
it was dulling your senses
your eyes they were bound
have you ever my friends
been looking around?

-

Don't worry my friends, what doesn't kill me makes me stronger.
I'll bounce back.
Just gimme a lil time :)

If you really do care

2008-04-24T17:51:00.005+10:00

We just have to wait and see.
But I'd rather be working for a paycheck, than waiting to win the lottery.

-

There comes a point in life where you know where you are, emotionally. This isn't just one of my 'pangs', I'm pretty sure about that.

I also know, that its hard to change someone's impression of yourself.

But I'm working on it.

It's been 3 weeks and counting...

-

I ~~just need to~~ will prove to myself (and to you).

one-liners

2008-04-22T18:28:00.002+10:00

I reckon, if I'd become a stand up comedian, my act would be full of one-liners.

It wouldn't be sarcasm, but more along the lines of...

"I had a lecture about diarrhoea today... That was a crap lecture"

Then again, I don't think I'm funny enough to earn myself a paying gig.

-

I feel happy today. Just today. Let me savour this moment.

Lullaby

2008-04-20T07:55:00.007+10:00

I cannot say 'oh sweetness' like he could
and I cannot play a lullaby like it should

This was life before...

Then it became this...

Now, its like this...

-
How could a person who risks, be free?
All that uncertainty, especially when there's no outcome in return?
I've risked.
I feel more like a slave to my decision than feeling free.
-
Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
-
Couldn't be more appropriate

head shoulders knees and toes.

2008-04-17T16:03:00.004+10:00

What would you leave behind when you’re no longer there?

I absolutely love The Cat Empire :)

poetry and idiosyncrasy

2008-04-16T16:43:00.002+10:00

I keep drinking the ink from my pen And I'm balancing history books up on my head
But it all boils down to one quotable phrase
"If you love something, give it away"

-

I had a lecture on STDs today, and that guy was literally "talking cock".

Ah, yes. That was my witty whit's moment for the day.

-

If only I could supress my limbic system as and when I want to, maybe then, it wouldn't be so difficult.

In/Out, Nip/Tuck

2008-04-11T08:15:00.008+10:00

In/Out ; Nip/Tuck

And I'm afraid, and I can't breathe
And I'm in love with you
But you are not with me
And I have put so much into a life
I made too much about you now to lie.

-

So please forgive what I have done
No, you can't stay mad at the setting sun
Cause we all get tired, I mean eventually
There is nothing left to do but sleep

-

I need to re-evaluate the friendships I have with others.
Just so my friends know, I care. I really do. I just don't show it.
Once again, I've been taken. for. granted.

Hello hello

2008-04-05T16:34:00.005+11:00

Hello Hello!

I've been hooked onto "Soulja Boy's Crank That" since November! And I'm still hooked on it. So is my mom.

I've just been too unco to dance it. So I do the lazy person's version of it. I just do the arm movements and hope my feet gets the drift and moves to it. (Mental note: I need to do something about my flabby arms)

Now I've got "Flo Rida's Low", "Jack Johnson's If I Had Eyes", and The Cat Empire in my player on loop (:

It's awesome!
(I just need. to. start. studying. and. stop. procrastinating. and. stop. going. out.)

The Cat Empire makes me :)

I feel like getting a lip piercing or another tattoo of an abstract symbol that represents me. But I got an inkling that I might chicken out. (pffft, thanks to societal pressures to conform to the standards of professionalism)

-

I hate having to go through all this emotional rollercoster.
And some people should just choose which side of the fence they want to be on. It's P or P, you can't have both! You can choose to have neither, but you can't have both!

You can't just drive me round and round the merry-go-round, while you're merry and I'm down.

Fix me

2008-03-29T14:20:00.001+11:00

When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

I've always been cynical about human nature and the interpersonal relations of human beings.

Tonight, I've just proved myself right.

Tears stream down my face.

I have to start to learn from my mistakes.

oh you...

2008-03-24T09:31:00.002+11:00

I could get used to waking up to you every morning!

chance occurrences

2008-03-22T10:11:00.001+11:00

How does one explain coincidences?

Aren't coincidences merely chance occurrences?

What then, would you call a coincidence that's occurred more than once?

finally

2008-03-22T10:00:00.000+11:00

Well, this is not blog worthy, but I'm still putting it up anyway.

I often tell myself that we could be more than just friends
I know you think that if we move too soon it would all end
I live in misery when you're not around
And I won't be satisfied till we're taking those vows

kids and more

2008-03-08T16:18:00.003+11:00

Hi world,

Bye world.

Till I can find something blog worthy.

Hi ho the merry-o

2008-03-01T13:11:00.002+11:00

Wow. I can't believe yet another week's just passed! I'm not quite sure what I've been doing in the past week. I know I've been busier in the day, but I spend most nights watching telly. I know I should be studying for my test in 2 weeks, but I'm just feeling so unmotivated right now.

I'm just too lazy to want to do anything.

And I keep thinking I've got tomorrow to study. (Which, technically, I do) Oh well, like I said, I'm the reigning queen of procrastination. I even procrastinate sleep just to watch telly. Now beat that!

Alrightey, I'm off to watch IronMan Series and oogle at the hot bods!

we are one

2008-02-25T22:24:00.001+11:00

Difference between me and you
It's all in where your heart lies
And every day's another chance
So let's get it right

I am you
You are me
We are one
Take me in your arms
And flow through me
I'll flow through you

Did you lose yourself out there
Did you lose faith and give up
Don't turn away and hide yourself'

Cause there's a friend to make along the way
We are the heartbeat and our souls speak
And all the beauty I have ever dreamed
Is right here in front of me

-Kelly Sweet: We are One-

Whoever wrote this lyrics is a genius.

be be your love

2008-02-17T17:16:00.003+11:00

What I was hoping would happen yesterday, didn't happen.

As usual.

I should start to stop expecting, because it always ends up in disappointment.

-

I like to cry in the shower, because only then. You don't quite know which are your tears.

-

Now I can't breathe.

V day

2008-02-15T02:24:00.004+11:00

I would always imagine that day where you and I meet on the crowded streets in the Big Apple, and we'd embrace each other amongst the crowd.

Everyone else doesn't exist for those moments we are in each other's bosoms.

The world slows down, yet spins at the speed of light at the same time.

-

Of course, that's just me and my imagination. I am, afterall, idealistic.

Ideals bring about hope.

Hope, in turn, brings about expectations.

And expectations, bring about disappointment.

-

I'm hoping that tomorrow plays out the way I thought it to be.

But as I hope, a part of me dies.

Because the things that please me, are the same things that can hurt me, somehow.

S

2008-02-13T14:50:00.002+11:00

This is a beautiful song, "Samson" by Regina Spektor.
Practically sums up what I had with Someone.

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth
I have to go, I have to go
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
He ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed
And history books forgot about us and the bible didn't mention us
And the bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the stars came fallin' on our heads
But they're just old light, they're just old light
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson came to my bed
Told me that my hair was red
Told me I was beautiful and came into my bed
Oh I cut his hair myself one night
A pair of dull scissors in the yellow light
And he told me that I'd done alright
and kissed me 'til the mornin' light, the mornin' light
and he kissed me 'til the mornin' light

Samson went back to bed
not much hair left on his head
Ate a slice of wonderbread and went right back to bed
Oh, we couldn't bring the columns down
Yeah we couldn't destroy a single one
And history books forgot about us
And the bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first

2008-02-11T14:41:00.000+11:00

Heaven is where I hope I'm going.

Heartache is where I've been.

Heaven, heartache and the power of love...

pretence

2008-02-09T03:33:00.001+11:00

I sit at the dinner table, with relatives beside me, diagonally across, and opposite me.
I listen to fragments of hokkien/cantonese sentences, and try to make some meaning out of them.
I watch, listen, piece the story and evidence together.

Only to discover that CNY is the season of pretence.

Couples pretend to love each other to dissuade others from believing what they hear in the past year.
Families pretend to be happy with each other.
Adults pretend to all like each other.
Adults pretend to let bygones be bygones.
Some pretend not to look when someone walks in your direction with an Ang Pow.

I pretend not to understand anything people say in dialect, and observe how others pretend.

2008-02-06T02:33:00.001+11:00

If "Sorbet" is pronounced "Sor---Bay", why isn't "Sherbet" pronounced "Sher---bay", but "Sher---bert" instead?

Food for thought.

(boy do I love my moments of genius!)

2008-02-05T01:03:00.000+11:00

Wish I could stop wishing you well...

I'm undying

2008-02-02T11:53:00.000+11:00

Monogamy.

I must admit. Monogamy is a novel idea to contemplate. I don't know how or when I'll be able to love one person more than anything else in the world to want to spend the rest of my life with them and sacrifice the freedom of choice (in terms of people) and not cheat on them. Of course, that's just the fairy tale version of it all; to be with only one person out of love.

There's the other side to it where people just stay with each for their kids, or because they'll feel bad if they go back on their word, so they're committed to sticking to "the wrong choice" for the rest of their lives etc.

Monogamy is a complicated issue albeit sounding relatively simple. I mean, how complicated can marrying once and only having one partner for your lifetime be?

I think I'm still too young to understand what monogamy really means, and what it holds for the couple.

Afterall, I'm only 19 going on menopausal. (and sleep deprived)

recipes

2008-01-31T00:49:00.000+11:00

The Domestic Goddess in me is now googling baked cheesecake recipes. I want to bake something for my friends and family for the Chinese New Year (or Lunar New Year, if you want to be politically correct). But my mom, being the wet blanket that she is whenever I say I want to attempt baking or cooking something, always dissuades me from entering her kitchen.

Urgh!

NadalNadalNadal

2008-01-29T12:16:00.001+11:00

English yachters can take the backseat for now while I oogle over my latest heartthrob, Rafael Nadal.

I came to a sad sad realisation that I am uncommitted to go to the gym and yoga lessons regularly, which means that my holiday plan to be all toned and firm is failing. After looking through a professional photographer's photos with skinny models in them, I am slightly motivated to work on myself. I'm not going to decieve myself any longer. I will never be committed enough to go to the gym everyday to work out. Hence, I've decided to become skinny instead. I will embark on a sleeping diet, where I'll sleep for more hours than I am awake. This way, I skip meals without feeling hungry in my unconsciousness. I will still be using my energy stores, and I will eat only when I'm awake, hence replenishing the nutrients used.

Sounds good.

So that's all for now I guess. Goodbye and Good ~~day~~ night!

Bwahaha

2008-01-28T15:18:00.000+11:00

Edit:

Forget what I said about wanting to be a young Serbian girl. I still think Nadal is wayyyyyyy cuter!!!! And when he speaks.... it sounds sooooo goood. I.AM.GOING.TO.LEARN.SPANISH.FOR.SURE!!!!! And he winks whenever he talks!!!!

MARRY ME NADAL!!!!!!

AO Men's Finals yesterday. Awesome match!

It was impossible to take your eyes off the match for 1 second. Versatile game. AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME!!!

Channel 5 only showed it till 6.45 just because they'd wanted to air their box office showcase of X2. WHAT THE HELL RIGHT?

I had to go to my aunt's to watch the 4th, and final set. No thanks to Channel 5. They could've postponed X2 to a later time slot. Afterall, it was aired in 2003. And Channel 5 still calls it a box office showcase and puts so much emphasis on a 4-5 year old show? Ridiculous!

I'm so glad Djokovic won, when it got down to the tie breaker, I was so scared it'd be a turn of events and Tsonga will win. OMG. When Djokovic won the first 2 points, I was slightly relieved.

Djokovic all the way!!!!!!!!! I can't wait for Djokovic's youngest brother (Djordje) to turn professional. His 16year old brother looks so guai. His youngest brother's the cutest of the 3! Even my mom and my cousins agree! Aye... Now I wish I was younger and living in Serbia.

OMG, and CNY is round the not too sharp corner. I've still gotta clean up my room, which is pretty easy really. Just chuck out old magazine and unread papers that are currently a fire hazard at home. And I've still gotta get some anti-slips and heel grips for my latest buy! I bought a pair of not-so-high heels that're red and black, with very oriental black lacy design. It's ABSOLUTELY TO DIE FOR!!!!!! I just need tog et some heel grips so it won't cut my when I wear them and show em off on CNY!!!!

I also bought a 2nd pair of not-too-high heels. It's PINK!!!! And its got a croc-skin-look-alike design. Looks a little like Croc Dundee's shoes... Long and pointy on the front... It's very pretty!!!! I'm wearing them to work this year!!!!!

Australian Open

2008-01-26T01:16:00.001+11:00

OH. MY. GOSH!

No more Federer. No more Nadal.

I am in disbelief over the results of the Australian Open. Nadal's been defeated by JO-WILFRIED TSONGA! And now Federer!?!?!?!??!?!?! DEFEATED?!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!

I don't quite know what to be watching out for on Sunday's Men's Finals.

Since when did the French get so good at Tennis?

I'm more upset over Nadal's defeat than Federer's. Only because,
1. I'm not a huge fan of Federer's.
2. I think Nadal's cute as a button :)))
3. I don't like French men, not one bit. (for personal reasons)
4. I think Spanish, Cuban and Brazilian boys/men are cute!

ARGH!

I am at a loss for words.

Sunday's finals. Djokovic faces Tsonga.

I'm definitely rooting for Djokovic on Sunday. And for Sharapova tomorrow.

Now I need to sleep it off. This devastation is unbearable!

Horoscope

2008-01-22T17:19:00.000+11:00

SAGITTARIUS - The Promiscuous One
Spontaneous.
High appeal.
Rare to find.

Great when found.
Loves being in long relationships.
So much love to give.
A loner most of the time.
Loses patience easily and will not take crap.
If in a bad mood stay FAR away.

Gets offended easily and remembers the offense forever.

Loves deeply but at times will not show it feels it is a sign of weakness.
Has many fears but will not show it.
VERY private person.
Defends loved ones will all their abilities.
Can be childish often.
Not one to mess with.
Very pretty.
Very romantic.
Nice to everyone they meet.
Their Love is one of a kind.
Silly, fun and sweet.

Have own unique appeal.

Most caring person you will ever meet!

Amazing in bed..!!!
Not the kind of person you want to mess with- you might end up crying.

Passe

2008-01-21T14:07:00.000+11:00

Of looks and figures,
Of long slender fingers.